With a web site named Will's Wiener World(.com) - it's understood that you enjoy hot dogs...

Well... It's understood that you enjoy hot dogs - and you're probably a computer geek with a pallid complexion, poor social skills & a wardrobe by J.C. Penney's.

Yeah...

Those two things... ¹

At least...

I feel sorry for people whose sole exposure to hot dogs are those sorry excuses sold to the sweating masses at sporting events...

Hot dogs are a deep, complex, multifaceted food source. Like a good single malt Scotch, there's a hot dog for every occasion...

I've recently been delving into the world of - the "Coney Island" hot dog!

To the un-initiated, there might not seem to be much to that subject... to them I say: "Try to snatch the mustard from my hand, Grasshopper..."

First, some administrative paperwork...

A "Coney Island" is actually a type of dining establishment. In this day and age, we would refer to their style of cuisine as "fast food". Only "Old School" fast food... You know the type - hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, assorted pies and pastries, maybe some homemade soup, gyros, baklava, moussaka...

Interestingly, "Coney Islands" seem to have been "invented" by Greek immigrants who passed through New York (Coney Island?) on their way to America's Heartland. (Did you catch the gyros, baklava & moussaka at the end there?)

But where am I driving this train?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 I came home to find American Coney Island's "Coney Island" Kit on my front porch.

American Coney Island's in Detroit, Michigan. These guys have been around since 1917, and urban legend has it that "Gust" Keros - the man who started American Coney Island - is also the one who INVENTED the Coney Island hot dog!

How I came to be in possession of said "Coney Kit" is a story for another day (and only to be conveyed verbally... and only in person!)

I rushed inside and ripped open the box... Man... This was like Christmas for me...

Inside the first box I found:

• A dozen "Coney Island Steamers" - hot dog buns from Korda's Metropolitan Baking Company
• A fresh, whole vidalia onion
   
  
   
• An "American Coney Island Fundraising Kits" flyer
• A letter from Grace Keros (the 3rd generation of the Keros family to own American Coney Island!)
   
  

and...

The HAT...

Yes... a paper hat emblazoned with - "downtown American Coney Island"...

This is what I had been waiting for...

Appropriate attire for serving hot dogs!

Thank you, Grace!

But wait...

There's more...

The second box... Much larger than the first - containing...

A styrofoam box...

and in the styrofoam box (maintained in frosty, frigid, freshness by two blocks of frozen CO₂)...

• 1 dozen beef & pork, 8-to-a-pound, natural casing hot dogs from the Dearborn Sausage Company
   
  - and -
   
  
• 16 ounces of "Detroit Chili Sauce for Hot Dogs" from the Detroit Chili Company - add 1 cup of water, heat & stir ²
   
  

My plan was to bring the "Coney Kit" with me to a Christmas party I was going to be attending in Lebanon, Pennsylvania.

I mean... What says "Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year" better than a Coney Island hot dog... Fresh from a 90 (plus!) year engagement in their home town of Detroit, Michigan?!?!

So that's how Saturday, December 5th found me in the wilds of Lebanon, PA in the accompaniment of several dear friends and a Mason jar of really good moonshine (a/k/a Tennessee "crick" water)... ...with an American Coney Island Kit tucked under my arm...

Since it was snowing in Lebanon, PA, I had decided to prepare the Dearborn franks as "dirty water dogs". This keeps the fuss in the kitchen to a minimum - since our hosts had a house full of guests. I don't generally do "dirty water dogs". If I'm going to be warming my dogs using hot water as a heat source I'll generally steam them - but I wasn't sure my hosts for the evening had a steamer. I was, however, pretty darn sure that they had a sauce pan large enough to accommodate those lovely Dearborn franks... When preparing dirty water dogs I prefer to use as little water as possible. I don't mean I like to cramp m'dogs like four fat men in a Jacuzzi. I give 'em enough water to float freely without being able to dive 10 feet down to retrieve quarters off the bottom of the pan - if y'know what I mean... I heat the water to a boil, turn off the fire and lower the wieners lovingly into their hot tub.

Something to remember... When you put the water on to boil - the water's clear - when you put the hot dogs in, the water turns cloudy - that cloudiness is flavor being leached out of your hot dogs!

Try not to leave 'em in the water too long - eat 'em quick like!

So while the franks were warming up, I got out another sauce pan, emptied the chili into it, added 1 cup of water (as suggested) and warmed it up to just around a slow simmer

I didn't have a steamer for the buns, either, but experience has taught me that 10 seconds in a 1000 watt microwave oven achieves the same results. (Not 5 seconds, certainly not 15 seconds... 10 seconds is the winner!)

So now I was ready to assemble that for which I had been craving, lo' those many days since delivery... A gen-u-wine "Coney Island" hot dog! (Remember: You dress the dog! Nothing goes under the dog - except the bun!) Warm/steam bun Place hot dog in bun Spoon Coney Island sauce over hot dog Add correct amount of yellow mustard (Be artistic!) Add just the right amount of onions - not too many, not too few - take into consideration the "strength" of the onion (do yourself a favor - get a vidalia onion...) Take picture of hot dog Write review of experience Send e-mail to your friends and neighbors with a link to your review Update the review to correct typographical errors and grammatical errors pointed out by your friends & neighbors - and to - "punch it up a little"   Ignore steps 6 through 9 and go right to step 10...   Eat hot dog!

Face it, after 92 years in the business, American Coney Island knows a little somethin' about Coney Island hot dogs.

As any chili dog aficionado will tell you, it's not a chilidog or a chilidog - it's a chilidog...

It's a complete package, the separate ingredients blending into one whole, harmonious gustatory experience. No single component stealing the spotlight from any of the others.

In the case of the American Coney Island kit - after carefully assembling all the ingredients, I paused briefly for reflection upon my endeavor, gazing in awe & wonder at American Coney Island's creation...

And took a bite...

The warm bun gently caressed the corners of my mouth, the *) SNAP (* as my teeth pierced the natural casing, the cuminy flavor of the finely ground, bean-less chili, the tang of the French's yellow mustard and the subtle crunch & flavor release of the fresh onion...

I chewed...

All the flavors mixing harmoniously in my mouth...

Now this is what a Coney Island hot dog should be about!

As separate ingredients, most people probably wouldn't be impressed with the American Coney Island "Kit".

The hot dog is a fairly mildly seasoned beef & pork (some might say "German-style") 8-to-a-pound frank. (Although, personally, this style is probably my favorite for most occasions.) Fairly firm with a nice "tooth" to the natural casing.

The chili is very mild, nothing that really sticks out in my mind. You can taste the cumin, but it's not in the least overwhelming. I believe there may be some tomato sauce in the... sauce... but I wouldn't swear to it. When I tasted a spoonful of it, my reaction was "Eh... Nothin' special"... But that's the point. It's not meant to stand on its own! If they made a killer chile (notice the change in spelling) - who the heck'd want to put it on a hot dog?!?!

And - an onion is an onion (for the most part) and yellow mustard is... well... French's...

But put 'em all together - in the correct proportions - and American Coney Island has a winner!

Now, pardon me, while I look up their phone number. I'm ordering another kit!